Buy Banana Leaves, Sell Avocado, Eat Kangkung

Presented on a circular banana leaf this morning were some treats that our host described as "nyonya". This word is used in reference to the Chinese immigrants to Malaysia and, in this case, to the particular cuisine that they brought with them.

Nyonya cuisine

Our host was incredulous that Europeans would pay up to 5 Euros for a small packet of banana leaves when they literally "grow on trees" here. On the leaf, we were treated to a yam cake, fried until crisp and savoury sweet, with pyramids of sticky rice to be dipped in sugar syrup.

As well as expert guidance and local knowledge, the advantage of being hosted rather than staying in an anonymous hotel is the opportunity to get an insight into the host's everyday life; to eat where they eat, shop where they shop and, while being unobtrusive, to go where they go. Our host makes house calls for personal massage services, which inevitably means a trip to an expensive hotel resort. This morning, our host invited us to tag along for the few hours he would be near Tengah beach.

"Submarine island" off Pantai Tengah

As the next beach along from Cenang, Pantai Tengah is less densely developed and gives the restaurants and bars room to breathe. We noticed that the water here is not as clear as on the north side. Possibly because the sea bed is constantly being churned up by power boats and jet skis. That said, the adrenaline activities are less ubiquitous on Tengah than on Cenang. We mainly watched the well-rehearsed dance of taking tourists up for a 15-minute-long parasailing jaunt.

"'Para' as in 'chute' or as in 'lysis'?"

While the customer is strapped into a harness, the instructor simply grabs the parachute, hanging by his arms for as long as possible, before eventually swinging his legs over a makeshift seat for the rest of the ride.

There's no "fun" in "health and safety"

Once expertly deposited back on the beach, a new customer is strapped in and the process repeats itself. We watched dozens of these trips, with barely a sixty-second turnaround between each one.

Bahasar Malay uses the Latin alphabet with no diacritical marks. Before the 17th century it was written using Arabic script, but before that has also used a number of different writing systems. Owing to British colonial influence, the language of business is English. We observed this as our host confidently booked us a kayaking tour over the phone, one Malay to another, in English.

Expensive for a bottle of air

The familiar Latin alphabet is a boon to understanding signs and menus, but there are several false friends waiting to trip us up. I have already discovered that air confusingly means water, and that jam means hour (ask for jem if you want something to spread on your toast). However, tomato means, as one would expect, tomato.

Exotic food

At our host's recommendation, we had lunch at Red Tomato. Run by a German, serving Italian food, the restaurant's menu was replete with pizzas and salads, many of which are vegetarian. We indulged in an avocado and sundried tomato salad, observing only too late that imported avocado is remarkably expensive, and a basil pesto pizza.

Ever in demand, our host had to travel to the other side of the island for an appointment at the exclusive Datai resort. We hitched a lift as far as Pantai Kok.

Pantai Kok (pronounced "coke")

Neighbouring Telega harbour, this is possibly one of the most scenic beaches on the island. Two breakwater island have been constructed at the mouth of the harbour, which shelters the boats moored there. Apparently, this protection considerably reduced the damage wrought by the 2004 tsunami.

We stayed a while on the largely deserted beach until a heavy shower came in, which turned into a persistent drizzle lasting the whole evening. Reluctantly we left, but joined our host at Shin Mi, a local restaurant serving Chinese food.

Tofu claypot and kangkung

Our host ordered us up a salty vegetable and tofu soup, a claypot of fried silken tofu, and a plate of fried kangkung. The latter green vegetable, also known as water spinach or morning glory, has been a frequent fixture on our table throughout our trip to Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and now Malaysia. It is ubiquitous in SE Asia as it grows readily and wild, and is therefore cheap. However, comments on the price of kangkung got the Malaysian prime minister in hot water this time last year after he employed some classic misdirection over the rising cost of fuel. The gaff went viral on the internet. Cue images of people filling their petrol tanks with kangkung. The trend was even picked up by the BBC but, presumably in an effort to stifle the sense of international embarrassment, the article was apparently blocked in Malaysia for a while.